Funny Thing Happened . . .

Napoleon.In.Rags: sup?
paris.by.night: Just chillin'.
paris.by.night: And yourself?
paris.by.night: Hey, I got something to ask ya
Napoleon.In.Rags: Yeah?
paris.by.night: A man is brushing his teeth at 5 in the morning - he usually waits until 6
Napoleon.In.Rags: Why? I need to know.
paris.by.night: A car takes a left turn instead of its habitual right: the driver is distracted by a song he loves on the radio.
Napoleon.In.Rags: What's the meaning? Tell me.
paris.by.night: A professor tries to print out his syllabus: he winds up printing an email from his mother. He's ridiculed by his colleagues.
paris.by.night: How are these events connected?
Napoleon.In.Rags: I can't solve your problem.
Napoleon.In.Rags: I'm not your messiah.
paris.by.night: They aren't connected. Not in 2008 they aren't.
paris.by.night: It sounds like the setup for... a goddamn movie, doesn't it?
Napoleon.In.Rags: Nic Cage vehicle, you figger?
paris.by.night: A series of happenstance occurrences leading to -- well yeah, maybe an enormous fuckin' masonic treasure! Fuck!
Napoleon.In.Rags: Here, watch this:
Napoleon.In.Rags: Is it a fight to the death if they're both dying anyway?
Napoleon.In.Rags: (Two men find out in December)
paris.by.night: I'd rather think of it as Your Average Wager.
Napoleon.In.Rags: Yeah? What's on the line, soldier?
paris.by.night: Your Average Wager... My Average Wager... My Best Wager....Your Best Wager... My Best Bet
paris.by.night: There.
paris.by.night: I just named an NME band.
Napoleon.In.Rags: Soundtracks on the TeeVee. A bit counterintuitive, innit?
paris.by.night: You think Cage gives a fuck?
paris.by.night: You think Cage gave a shit when he started that magazine?
Napoleon.In.Rags: I mean, if we're gonna throw out some categories here, I'd wager Dear Science, qualifies for at least--
paris.by.night: Awwwww, christ!
paris.by.night: Maybe it's a code.
paris.by.night: Maybe it's just a cage after all?
Napoleon.In.Rags: Lissen, lissen, Cage isn't the target. You got the address all wrong.
Napoleon.In.Rags: Who lives at the end of the Five And A Half Minute Hallway, and who's the Lonely Man in the Lonely Tower?
Napoleon.In.Rags: (Two men find out in December)
paris.by.night: (That's your best bet!)
Napoleon.In.Rags: What is this shit, jangle-gaze? Now you're just fuckin' with me!
Napoleon.In.Rags: Here, put me on the line with the Man!
paris.by.night: Alright alright, I apologize.
paris.by.night: Forwarding you...
paris.by.night: Yes?
Napoleon.In.Rags: Do you live at the end of the 5 ½ minute hallway?
paris.by.night: I ... breathe with some effort.
Napoleon.In.Rags: I'm sorry, Mr. Abrams, I didn't catch that, could you repeat--
paris.by.night: [A strangled gasp]
paris.by.night: [A hallway. No windows.]
Napoleon.In.Rags: That's odd. A bit chilly all of a sudden.
paris.by.night: [A strangled gasp. Quieter this time. Dial tone.]
Napoleon.In.Rags: Huh. That was just a tad out of the ordinary.
Napoleon.In.Rags: But I think I have the answer. I think I can be the Messiah now.
paris.by.night: [Dial tone cuts off. A man breathing.]
paris.by.night: Hold on a moment.
Napoleon.In.Rags: How 'bout you? Did you Find Out?
paris.by.night: I wasn't really looking. [A dial tone plays, but the man keeps talking] Disconnected now. Funny how that happens. Disconnect please.
paris.by.night: Why don't you disconnect?
paris.by.night: [The dial tone is getting louder.]
Napoleon.In.Rags: 'cause I understand the chilliness all of a sudden.
Napoleon.In.Rags: That's the type of weather you're gonna get in December.
Napoleon.In.Rags: [click]
Napoleon.In.Rags: ((Do we end there, or you wanna keep going for a bit?))
paris.by.night: ((Keep going))
Napoleon.In.Rags: ((That's your call to make))
paris.by.night: ((A wall gets broken.))
Napoleon.In.Rags: (Wait no, no, fuck you. They can't see this, this part is real)
paris.by.night: ((The wall's gone. Defenses weren't strong enough, I guess.))
paris.by.night: (([A dial tone plays. It's faint.]))
paris.by.night: Abrams?
Napoleon.In.Rags: Fuck you! Cut the feed! Cut the brackets! Cut the bullshit!
paris.by.night: Cut the bullshit?
paris.by.night: Alright bud, there weren't many good movies this year.
Napoleon.In.Rags: Fucking... what does this mean? Do we come clean? What other outs do we got?
paris.by.night: Yeah, I guess. Hands up, soldier!
Napoleon.In.Rags: Alright, let's roll with it.
Napoleon.In.Rags: Max Payne wins the Originality of Vision Award. Some hipsters in the corner chuckle.
Napoleon.In.Rags: This is my disappointingly-sized dick, Internet.
Napoleon.In.Rags: You two will be fast friends.
paris.by.night: Shitheads haven't seen a good movie since SalMar gave us Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. A dial tone starts. I IGNORE IT.
Napoleon.In.Rags: (See right now I notice he's entering more text, so I don't say anything. We're usually not that civil)
paris.by.night: (Looks like an error in iChat?)
paris.by.night: Oh Jesus God.
paris.by.night: That's...
paris.by.night: a dial tone.
Napoleon.In.Rags: Fuck! He's onto us!
paris.by.night: Shit! I'm outta here!

[[There should be a picture here somewhere. Maybe stick one in for the final post? Also, can we get a fix on those colors? They're too goddamn bright. --Ed.]]